I didn’t think I’d be writing on this blog again, but I felt like doing it the other day. I wrote out a new post and everything, then looked back at drafts I never posted from 2023, deciding I liked one of those better. So, here it goes.
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If you come to this blog looking for classical "inspiration and uplifting words," you won't always get it. But that's real life for you. My parents are always telling me to write happier things, but then it wouldn't be authentic. Plus I don't think I could do it right now, anyway. Actually, that ties pretty well with the topic I chose. Can you believe it? I have a topic for once! Those who have read my blog in the past will know that I have never been one for "staying on topic" for posts, and I rarely have a topic planned.
Todays topic was chosen from a list that my sister made of post ideas in 2022.
Humans are weird. Whenever someone has something to say that isn't the happiest, the person responding almost always tries to make it cheerful. It's like nobody can leave something be.
Example: Julie is meeting her friend, Zoe, for lunch and sees them at the restaurant across the street. As she sits down at the table her friend is at, her phone falls out of her pocket and onto the concrete.
"Dang!" Julie says. "I hope the screen didn't crack," she adds as she picks it up.
"Let's see it," Zoe says. She watches as Julie sets the phone on their table, and, sure enough, there is a huge crack down the screen.
"NO!" Julie cries. "It's awful! Look at it! It goes across the whole screen!" She holds it tenderly and turns it to see it from all angles.
"Hey, no worries!" Zoe assures her friend quickly, an anxious look on her face. "You can get it fixed easily." Deep down she knew it probably wouldn't happen.
Julie sighed as she set down her cracked phone. "It'll cost at least $250 to fix it, Zoe. It's out of warranty."
"Oh, well...um..."
"It's all good," Julie says as she attempts a smile for her friend.
Okay, that was a terrible dialogue, but I hope you get what I was trying to imply. No matter the circumstances, we automatically say something "is okay" and "is fixable." Even when things can't be.
The reason I wrote that horrendous scene is because of something I get a lot. See, throughout the years I have gotten many reactions when someone finds out about my epilepsy and seizures. It's usually either, "Wow, I am SO SORRY," as if I am dying. They give me this look of pity that makes me want to punch them (sorry, but it's frustrating). And sometimes those people aren't genuine at all. The other reaction I tend to get when someone learns I have epilepsy and seizures is "the stare." A lot of the time they say, “Oh,” then just stare at me with an uncomfortable look because apparently I’m a ticking time bomb. Sometimes I just want to tell them it’s okay to leave. Now I don't particularly like either of them, and there is something they do called "false optimism and hope." Basically it's when I tell someone, let's say, how I will never drive. That person proceeds to tell me, "Of course you will!" Lady. No. I will not. If I did, I'd crash and hurt myself, someone else, or both. There's also the, "I know you will be seizure-free one day!" Now, I know people sometimes have good intentions, but I really reallllyyyy dislike it when someone tells me I will be seizure-free. First off, I know I won't be, unless a miracle descends upon me. Another? It reminds me that I am different and that's something I hate to think about.
Look, I know some people really just want to help and make me feel better. I just want to put out there that sometimes telling a disabled person that they will get better has the opposite effect, and makes them feel worse. I mean we are already different and are reminded of that daily. Does this make any sense, or am I just rambling? I think it's the latter.
Sometimes all we want is a listening ear. You don't have to fix anything or reassure us, just listening helps tremendously.
