Grand Mal Seizures

After being diagnosed with Epilepsy, I wasn't sure how to think or feel. I told my family that I was diagnosed, and they were concerned.

At my Neurologist appointment, I was put on a medication called "Keppra". I hoped that the medication would keep me from having any more seizures. It did, at least for a while. Six months later, I had another seizure.

I have had many Grand Mal seizures in my lifetime. They have occured at various places. I have had quite a few on the couch in my living room, one at my friend's house at a sleepover, one at my neighbor's house on their porch and one downstairs when I was watching a movie, all alone.

Let me tell you about those.

The Grand Mal seizures I have had on the couch were terrifying, but I was safe, being that it was a large couch, and there was always someone there with me. Though they were all at different times, they all felt the same. I knew that one was coming on because of the "aura" I felt (an aura is a strange feeling that comes before having usually any type of seizure). The aura came, and as I was laying on the couch, I twisted my body to the left and started to seize. Now. As soon as it started, that "out of body feeling" came, and it felt as if I was watching myself have that seizure. As if I was floating above my body. The echoing occured as usual. I heard my family surround me, saying things like, "Sara is having a seizure!!" It echoed through my mind over and over. I heard myself grunting and making noises. The seizures seemed like they did not last that long, but they last about 3-4 minutes. As I was coming out of the seizure, I couldn't talk. This is what happens when someone comes out of one. I couldn't talk for about five minutes. I heard myself breathing heavily out of my nose. My family tried to get me to say something, but my brain simply could not process the words. Something interesting with me is that unlike most people who have seizures, I can hear everything that is going on during the seizure. I know exactly what is going on and I hate that. I hate being able to know that I am in a seizure. It is the most horrifying feeling.

I have had a few Grand Mal seizures on my couch. Another one was at my friend's house while I was sleeping over there. I remember falling asleep to a movie while I was lying on the couch and I woke up to her parents and my parents staring at me. I was confused. My friend is Chinese, and they often drink hot water, as it tastes good, and it helps you feel better. Her mom tried to give me some, though I could not hold it because I just came out of the seizure. My parents wanted to take me home, but I was sad that I had to leave the sleepover early. I was scared to ever go back to my friend's house, because I knew she would be freaked out. The next time I went over there, her brother made a joke about me seizing. My friend said for him to shut up.

Another time was at my neighbor's house when we were having dinner there. I was sitting at a table, and I looked at my sister as I had that aura. I fell out of my chair, and I woke up to my Dad scratching my arm, because I love that. My parents, my sister and I were sitting together, and I remember thinking that we were in the front yard, and I was confused since the porch is in the backyard.

The last time is when I was downstairs on the ground, watching a movie by myself. I remember looking over, and my cats were sitting next to me. I went into the seizure, and when I came out of it, I couldn't talk, so I had to wait while I was terrified. Finally I was able to grunt, and I was so scared because my Mom was upstairs and I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me. Somehow she did, and she came down confused. Soon, she realized what had happened.

Seizures are the scariest thing to go through, and it is so hard to explain how they feel.