Mental Health and Such

I believe this is my fifth draft I have tried to write since my last post. It’s been so long that I’m going to give a list of the things that have happened.

1. I had my VNS replaced in November 2020. Surgery went great.

2. My neurologist left without warning so I am now seeing someone else. It’s been over a year and I finally had a virtual appointment with my new one last March. I don’t know how I feel about her yet.

3. I got kicked off my parents insurance so I’m on Medicaid now.

Life has taken a real hard turn (which is saying something) the past year and I haven’t had the will to post or any ideas as what to say. But someone told me to write again because it is nice to read?

I’m going to be real with you all. My mental health and health in general has taken a hard turn since January of 2021. My anxiety has skyrocketed and my depression has been bad. That’s another reason I haven’t written. But it’s been so long I guess that’s not really the main reason. I’ve had a lot happen that really has messed up my mental state.

The thing is, my mental health is connected to my physical health. It is for everyone. So since my mental health is bad, it’s caused my epilepsy to get worse. Which honestly I’m really tired of. I have insomnia so I don’t sleep til 5 AM a lot of the time. Sometimes later. Like today.

I’m on Medicaid now. I tried to stay on my parents insurance but the insurance didn’t approve it, so I was forced off. I was worried that Medicaid wouldn’t cover one of my medications because it’s ridiculously expensive but they did! I am so grateful for it. I hate taking four medications that don’t even completely stop the seizures but the fact that I even have them is something I’m grateful for. If I didn’t have them I would be having grand mal seizures (tonic clonic) everyday.

I had to switch pharmacies because the one I used doesn’t take Medicaid, but it turns out that was another blessing. The one I use now is incredible and they’ve helped me so much. When I needed a medication filled but they didn’t have enough that day for a full refill, they gave me what they had. The people are so kind and I’ve never had a bad experience. My old pharmacy was none of those things.

This post isn’t organized well but I’m so tired physically and emotionally that I’m just going to go with this anyway. Hopefully I’ll get one out sometime that’s organized and possibly on a specific subject. Sometimes this seems to read like a journal.