Long time no...write? I've been busy, you could say. Okay, not really. Life has been hard for the past two months?
For starters, depression and anxiety are not my friends. They have gotten bad over the past months and it has got to the point where it is hard for me to even leave my apartment. So, that has been difficult. When I go back to the United States, I'm hoping to change my anti-depression medication from Zoloft to something that actually works. It worked for a while, but when I got to China, it basically stopped working. Now, I am not sure if that is because of the stress that I have had here, but that should not matter. The medication should help no matter what situation I am in.
Epilepsy. Same same. Well, I have definitely had more seizures while in China than usual. The norm for my seizures is having one cluster of simple-partials a month, around "that time". However, I have been confused as to why I have had more, at different times. I have figured out why. Some of you may know that one of the many possible triggers for seizures is stress and lack of sleep. It's no question that I have had both of those. In general, I get stressed out fairly easily. Being in China, though I love it, has given me some stressors. That includes being away from my life as I know it. It has been on and off, but in general, I have missed quite a bit. One of those things is the piano. It has been almost four months since I have played those keys and I am missing it a lot.
Anyways, my seizures are the same. Same look, same type. They are just more frequent. It's been frustrating. When I have seizures, I get bad headaches. They last for hours and it isn't particularly enjoyable. It's hard enough to have clusters once a month, but now that I've had seizures more than usual, it seems like I always have a headache. I have been sleeping a lot because of it, and it feels like I never get enough sleep. When I wake up and it is eleven or twelve, I feel exhausted. It feels like I have not slept in days. That is another thing that people with epilepsy have to deal with. 8-9 hours of sleep is a good amount for adults. However, people with epilepsy may sleep that long, but it feels like 4-5 hours of sleep. So, you can imagine how that feels.
I have a week left here in China. The 15th is going to be a very long day, with the lovely time change. Figuring out my medication with the time change has been extremely difficult. I think I have finally figured out how to go about it, which requires me having to skip a dose. Hooray!
