Nov. 11th 2009

Today is a sucky day. Why? Because November 11th 2009 is the day I had my first official seizure. I've talked about it before, but I am going to do so again, as many of you have only seen a post or two. Also, I want to. I was getting ready for school. I was in the 8th grade and had turned 14 years old a couple months before. It was a normal day, although I had decided to get ready upstairs instead of in my own bathroom, downstairs. Not sure why. I was brushing my hair, that's what I remember doing beforehand. The next thing I heard was banging. That was my head hitting the cupboards on the floor. My mom heard a noise and ran to the bathroom. I was against the door and she and my dad had to push themselves in. They told me later, that my lips were blue. Apparently they called 911 and I got looked over, though all I remember next after the bathroom is sitting on the couch in the front room and seeing an ambulance in front of our house. I asked my mom who it was for and if our neighbors were okay. She told me it was for me. I don't remember if this was before or after the paramedics had come in to check me out or not, but my mom is sleeping right now and I don't feel like waiting til later to write this. This is my perspective, anyway. Next thing I know, I am being loaded into the back seat of the car. Apparently the ambulance charged a lot of money to drive me to the hospital, and my parents live pretty close to the hospital, so they decided to just drive me themselves. I remember a neighbor walking over across the street, asking what was happening and if we needed any help. Next? I'm in the ER. My mom is filling out paperwork. Then I am being rolled around on a bed. I think I got tests done, though I don't remember what. Probably an MRI and catscan, now that I know about these things. I do remember the ER doc telling me that it was probably a one-time thing and that it is common for a person to have a seizure in their lifetime. Being that I had no history of seizures, we didn't expect a second one. BOY, were we wrong. I had another one later that year during computer class. I don't feel like writing about that one, though. I have written about it before in previous posts so feel free to find it. I will be writing about it again, though, so don't worry. "Well, the definition of epilepsy is two or more seizures". That is pretty much what my first neurologist said when I saw him after I had another seizure. My heart SHATTERED. "EPILEPSY???? How???? I am healthy!" I didn't say that, but it was on my mind. After that appointment, my mom and I sat in the car in silence. She watched me as I processed the new information. I believe I started crying? My mom felt so awful and helpless, so she asked me what fun thing I would like to do. We ended up going to the mall and she bought me some stuff I had been wanting. I have gone through so much with this condition. I've lost friends because of it. Nobody understands it and nobody wants to. They get freaked out. I don't blame them sometimes because seizures are scary. I just wish people would stop to listen so they can realize that seizures are not just the grand mals you see on TV. They aren't just the ones where you fall on the ground and shake. There's SO many different types of seizures. Some are just staring off into space! And if someone would just take the time to learn that, maybe they wouldn't be as scared? Also, think about the person actually having the seizure! You think YOU are scared? IMAGINE BEING THE ONE SEIZING! Sure, not everyone remembers them (though I do), but waking up from them? There is no way to explain the fear and anxiety. I REALLY hope you all take some time to at least learn the first-aid for seizures, because that can save a life. If you don't want to read up on epilepsy, that's okay. But please, for the sake of those experiencing something they can't help, PLEASE learn how to save a life.