My "Support" Baby Cats

I’m going to briefly talk about my cats, Marco Polo and Spider. They are nine years old and litter-mates. They are from the second batch of kittens we fostered, and their mother was with them. Marco is a tabby (sorta) with a white tuxedo in front, and Spider is a black cat. I love them so much.

They have always been my support kitties (they like my mom better), and are here for me when I have seizures. They can always sense when one is coming along, it seems. Spider is quite needy and loves to cuddle, so when she cuddles and sits on my face, I figure it’s her being…well, Spider. But, then I’ll have a seizure and realize she knew it was about to happen. It’s hard to explain (dogs are not the only animals that can sense seizures). When I have a seizure, my mind goes somewhere else. However, when Spider sits there, it keeps me aware and in the now. She doesn’t judge me or stare at me funny. She’s just…there.

Marco is similar, though he tends to sit on my vital organs only when he wants to be fed. When it comes to seizures, he’ll rub his face on mine, then sit down on my feet. He’s a big cat, so the weight “wakes me up”, and it's rather comforting, sort of like a weighted blanket.

One time, a few years ago, I was watching a movie by myself downstairs on the floor. I felt a grand mal (tonic-clonic) seizure coming on, and before I went into it, I noticed Marco and Spider right next to me. When I got out of it, I waited for someone to come to the rescue and be with me like they usually do, but my mom was upstairs. Don’t ask me how she eventually heard me because all I could do was grunt.

Marco has asthma, and I was the one who discovered it. I actually looked it up online and brought it up to the vet. Of course, he was not happy with me consulting “Dr Internet”, but I didn’t care. Marco was x-rayed and I was right. Although, apparently, Dr Internet was right, according to the vet. I’ve always felt a special connection with Marco because we both have health issues and they’re awful. He gets a pill sometimes for particularly bad days and gets an inhaler in his face twice a day. I take four different medications and have another pill for the same reason.

It may seem weird that I’m talking about how amazing my cats are and how they support me, but they do! They’re so important to me and them being their perfect selves has made my situation significantly better.

It's incredibly important to support those with health issues, and of course, supporting someone, in general, is also essential. I love that my cats are always here for me, and I hope they know that since I take ten pictures of them a day and kiss their tiny foreheads every time I see them.

Mr Marco Polo cat

Spider cat

Warning: Taboo subject: periods. A blunt post while I’m having seizures

I’m going to be real. Epilepsy is terrible and I hate it. I’m being blunt, and maybe part of the reason is that I’m actually having seizures at this moment. I don’t care, though! Those few people who read this need to know that though I try to portray myself as strong and that I’m conquering this illness, I also fall apart all of the time.

Epilepsy jumps at you when you’re least expecting it. Enjoying a conversation with a friend? Whoops, not anymore. Time for a pounding headache and awkward atmosphere. Shopping with your family and having some fun? Not anymore, you’re not! It doesn’t want you to be happy. It doesn’t want you to love life.

I’ve said before that every person with epilepsy has a completely different case. There’s so many types of seizures and oftentimes they look so different from another persons. As for me, I’m lucky that the four medications I am on control the seizures enough so I do not have grand mal/tonic clonic seizures. AKA: the kind where you fall to the floor and your entire body convulses. On the other hand, I still have seizures. Just tonight I was having a conversation with a friend and my brain said, “Whoops! Never mind! No enjoyment for you. It’s time to get one of your ice packs that you keep on hand in your mini fridge, slap it on your forehead and get into fetal position on the bed!” Not only do I get to do that, but I also am gifted a pounding headache that I always describe as feeling like “I got hit by a truck.” I don’t know what that actually feels like luckily, but I still compare it because I would like to believe it’s similar.

I have been lying in bed with the ice pack on the side of my face. I swiped the magnet I have for my Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) implant and then I took a Lorazepam which I call my “seizure stopper.” I use it in case the seizures aren’t stopping completely with the magnet. Or if I’m really desperate.

Seizures are so frustrating, for a myriad of reasons. One of which is the “out of body feeling.” It’s what it sounds like. It’s as if you’re watching yourself, and not actually in your body. It’s a scary feeling, to be honest. Normally I get them when I have grand mal seizures. That’s if I miss a full day of medications. I’ll be in the seizure, and I feel like I’m watching myself. Now. I don’t have it that severe when I have my normal simple partial seizures, but I still get it every so often. My brain shifts into overdrive. Now, I’ll try to explain this next part the best way I can. One of the things I hate is being watched during a seizure. It’s so embarrassing and stressful. I don’t care if someone says not to be embarrassed because that doesn’t change anything! So, when I have the out of body feeling, my stomach will jump sometimes, the left side of my head will throb, and an “image” of me watching myself have the seizure pops up. However, it’s almost as if I’m picturing myself being in someone else’s shoes. I see myself but also what I would look like to someone walking in on me. Tonight, everyone is in bed. Nobody just walks in my room. But my brain will kick into that out of body feeling and think, “Look how weird I’m looking! I need to stop before someone walks in!” I’m not sure if that made sense to any of you but that’s the best way I can explain it.

I have described the seizures I have before, but I’m sure some of you have forgotten or haven’t read my other posts. I have Catamenial epilepsy and have simple partial seizures. I used to have complex partial and grand mals, but my medicine has kept them at bay. Catamenial epilepsy is hormone related. In general, epilepsy can affect hormones. Those people who have epilepsy and also a menstrual cycle, can experience increased seizure activity due to the hormones going up and down. However, sometimes people always have them at that time, and I’m one of them. There are several types. I am going to explain it and not sugarcoat it because periods are a taboo subject in todays society and they shouldn’t be. From what I have observed, I seem to get them at the beginning and end of my period. Another type would be when you ovulate, which I originally thought was the case until I kept better records.

“So, only once a month, then? Wow!” Well, no. I may have seizures at my time of the month but that’s not the only time. But I wish it was. Everyone has triggers when it comes to their seizures. Not everyone has the same ones. I believe I’ve discussed this before, but I will say them again. I get them when I’m stressed, when I’m anxious, dehydrated, haven’t slept enough and been sick. I also have to be careful with how much caffeine I have. Normally I can have a can of Dr. Pepper and be fine. So, you see, it’s not just one thing. I am not affected by flashing lights or sounds, though I know several people who are. I consider myself lucky in that aspect because I can go to concerts. There’s flashing lights everywhere at concerts.

My seizures look like I am staring off into space. If I’m talking to someone, I’ll either stop talking mid sentence, or I’ll repeat whatever I said. It’s usually the former. My left hand stops working and so if I’m texting, I can’t get my hand to work.

Well, the seizures have stopped, so I think I’ll stop writing now. Please go learn about seizure first aid! It’s incredibly important. I’ll give you a little bit of info on it, but please go inform yourself!

1.If a person is having a grand mal/tonic clonic seizure, make sure you are holding them safely on the floor. Do not let them hit their head. You can hold their head in your lap or use a pillow.

2.Turn them to their side so their tongue stays on the side. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO SWALLOW YOUR TONGUE! But you want them to have a clear airway to breathe. Loosen any tight collars.

3.Look for a medical bracelet, necklace, anklet, or even watch. If it says they have epilepsy or seizures, you don’t need to necessarily call 911 or your emergency number. If there is no identity, then call.

4.Time the seizure. Seizures should not last past three minutes! Any more and it can be fatal.

5.When the person wakes up, remain calm. They are okay! They don’t need water. Even when the person is awake, they’re still technically having seizure activity. It’ll take a little while for them to be fully comprehensive. This is normal! Hold their hand, smile, reassure them that they are okay. That they don’t need to be afraid.

I have a medical bracelet and have had one for years and years. It says my name on the back and epilepsy on the front. If I happen to have a grand mal seizure in public, I hope someone sees the bracelet and knows that they don’t have to call 911. In fact, a lot of people with epilepsy get frustrated because people automatically resort to 911 without even checking. It’s inconvenient, too. And expensive! The only reason I’d ever need one would be if the seizure was lasting longer than three minutes. That would then be status epilepticus. Serial seizures.

You never know who among you in your life has seizures, and it’s important to be prepared if they need your help! Inform the world! There’s so many with epilepsy out there, though so many people don’t know what it is.