Almost two months. It's been awhile! Lately things have been somewhat stressful for me, so I hope you don't mind if I share a few things with you all.
I have two jobs. At the time, it seemed like a good idea to get a second job and earn more money! After all, I don't get paid a lot working at BL. Now, don't get me wrong, I love working at CFA, too. However, a week or two into it, I was working so much, I literally worked every day. Both jobs are part time, but between the two, I get about 50 hours a week. I'm already a tired person, but having to work twice as much has definitely had a toll on me. I've grown irritable, I get headaches often, and I lack energy. I've taken into drinking more water and eating healthier though, which is not easy with my jobs. I have to really put an effort into it. BL doesn't have fresh food. Nothing nutritious. CFA has healthier options, but it's not something one usually eats everyday, no matter how delicious it is.
The BL I work at is closing soon. We're being kicked out because we lost our lease. Fun, right? Decades of business and people coming and going, and 'ope! Time to get up and leave, everybody! I'm upset. I love working there and I love the people I work with. Although, I am getting quite tired of having to repeat the fact that we are closing, hundreds of times a day when people ask why things are on sale or why the store is getting empty. This is a conflict. I'm sad that BL is leaving, but I think it is best for me because I don't think I can last any longer with both of these jobs. The official closing day is January 13th, but the way things are clearing out, I predict it to be sooner.
It is the 22nd of December, and it doesn't feel like it's that close to Christmas. I am excited for it, I guess I am just so exhausted from everything, that I've lost track of time.
What about my seizures? How's the epilepsy and VNS coming along? Well, VNS is the same. I discovered that though my VNS magnet is extremely strong, the effect isn't the same when I am wearing my work uniforms. When I try to swipe it, I don't feel it as much, which worried me for a while. One day, I was just wearing a tank top, and when I swiped my magnet, I went into a coughing fit, which is a good thing. So, that is something new. Also, I've been going to different doctors, because I'm trying to keep up the hope that I can someday be seizure-free. I've been to an endocrinologist, hoping that they could help me. A long time ago, I realized that the monthly seizures I have, are when I am on my period, or ovulating. TMI, I know, but this is important information. I have had a total of three neurologists since my first seizure in 2009. All of them have helped me in their own way, even the first one, a lame-o, who diagnosed me with epilepsy. However, my current neurologist, I have seen her twice in the four years of being her patient. She never has time for me, so I see her colleague. I have always liked her, but in this past year, she hasn't done a whole lot to help me. Even with the VNS, I had to bring up that I wanted to get it. When I learnt about the possibility that my seizures could be linked to my period, I asked her what my options were. She told me a few, one being birth control, which got my hopes up. Each one was a let down, though. Every time I asked if I could try one of them, she told me that they never work, and that really, there isn't anything else I can do for my epilepsy. As I am sure you can imagine, that did not lift my spirits. As a result, I have slowly been losing hope that I will ever be seizure-free. My mom and sister have not let that stand in the way, however. As my sister told me on the phone one day, "Sara, we are not going to give up. When a doctor can't help you, find another doctor. If that one can't help you, find another one that can." I'm grateful for that, because I know that even though I am feeling like nobody can help me, she doesn't.
After the endocrinologist couldn't help me, my mom made an appointment with another doctor. He is a gynecologist. I met with him a couple weeks ago, and he told me I am the first patient in 20 years that he has heard of periods and seizures coinciding. The technical term being Catamenial epilepsy, as my mom had found online. After about 45 minutes of talking, he decided that we could try birth control, and that that could possibly help my hormones get out of whack. Who knows, this could not work. I am willing to try it though, and have been for my third week now.
Gosh, I hate seizures. They're embarrassing and just plain annoying. Though I do NOT wish seizures upon ANYONE, sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone without epilepsy, know what I am going through.
Never fear!
